Obligatory

Should have posted this awhile ago. LOVE this band.

b00bz

I used to be kind of upset that I never really grew any tits. As a preteen, I waited and waited but the hope never really came to fruition. I went through a very short period of wanting breast implants at about 18 or 19 but as I matured I realized a boob job is mainly something insecure women do because their husbands/boyfriends no longer find them attractive. And now that I'm in my mid-twenties all I can think about is how stoked I am that my nipples will never point to the floor. Choke on that!

So plausible it must be true

Exactly 1 week after I hit Bambi

I almost greased a fucking dog on the way to work this morning! What are the chances? The people that owned this dog are lucky I was late for work because I was seriously considering turning around and giving them a quick lesson on pet ownership. And if you know me, you know that I will call animal control on ANYONE without thinking. I've done it a few times and even offered to make the call for my boyfriend when it was suggested his ex was neglecting her dog. ANYWAYS, these are dangerous times for my commute and I am putting my solo car karaoke on hold for the time being so I can focus on what feels like being a car in a live-action version of Frogger. Except I'm not allowed to hit anything. Lame.

Nothing says black metal....

Like eleven herbs and spices.

I had a dream.

This morning I woke up with the sneaking suspicion that it was Martin Luther King Jr. day. I even heard something on NPR while I was on my way to work that could have solidified this notion. Much to my chagrin I realized that I had missed it by about 7 months. Most people wake up and feel like its Christmas, I however, dream on a much smaller scale.

child-free.

I saw this on a blog this morning and thought that the ONLY other artists rendering of my feelings about children would be better described as this: a man sitting at a feast where the main course is a baby tied up like a cornish game hen. This is a close second though. This sculptor obviously shares my sentiments. I have censored the dick for modesty's sake.

Also, a pack of cigarettes and a rockstar energy drink costs me $6.66. Hail satan!

For good measure...